Tuesday, December 29, 2009

"It Happened to Me!" From The DBF inbox

On November 08, 2009, I found my son Jack Roney hanging by a karate belt in the restroom. Everything seemed so surreal, like it was not actually happening. I had left him for a brief moment to do a facial on a  client at work. Jack was wise beyond his years and I had NEVER gone to work without him with me. I left him with his cell phone and a list of what to do and what not to do. I am a single mother and we are all facing such crisis in this horrific economy and having to make decisions as parents that we should never have to make. Never do you dream that you have to tell your child not to hang themselves. The reality that people who have not been touched by this is that it can range in ages 7/thru adulthood. The reality is that this is occurring while parents are downstairs cooking supper or watching the television. When I found my beloved, beautiful son he was hanging in the bathroom. I observed a bluish tinge on his beautiful lips and I knew immediately it was bad. I placed my foot on the side of the bath tub and climber on the sink, taking about 30 seconds to 1 minute to untie the karate belt. I then placed my precious, only son on the floor. I slapped him gently on the face begging for him to wake up. I performed CPR and turned his body over while observing projectile vomiting coming out of his mouth and nasal cavity. I turned his body over so he would not choke on his vomit. I looked into his beautiful blue/green eyes and I knew immediatley that the lights had gone out of his eyes and that there was no way that he was going to survive this. I begged him to get up, but to no avail. I watched my child die in my arms. I called 911 immediately on my cell phone and within minutes had 8 medics, 8 police officers, and 8 fire fighters in my home, all desperately attempting to save my beautiful baby. As I spoke with the 911 operator she just kept telling me to calm down. I know that at that point, I was calm. I was screaming bloody murder for help while trying to untie him from the belt and no one heard me. In some capacity, I became frustrated with the 911 operator as I know that I was focused on saving my son's life and I felt that she needed to take control and guide me and tell me what to do. She never said anything but, "calm down." I did everything humanly possible to save his life and conducted CPR with no guidance from the operator. I do not lay blame on anyone for what has happened, not even myself, because I am an excellent mother and Jack lived a life so filled with light, laughter, joy, and love.
I am confident that the older children had talked to him about this. He could have done this when I went up to get the mail. I had always educated my son about the harms of the world and yet, I never,ever dreamed that I would have had to go through this hell. I had seen an interview on 20/20 about this and immediately talked with my son about this. What most parents do not understand is that they have to keep talking about this and all of the other dangers our children are being exposed to at such early ages. Children are mixing cough syrups and pills that they can simply buy over the counter. I beg parents to lock up all of their medications. There are too many temptations out there that kids/teens believe that they are invincible in doing and that they could never get hurt.

Later that evening, after we returned home, I looked at my body at was once again traumatized because I observed bruises all over my arms and legs and it just made everything that just happened, feel so incredibly compounded. Every day, I am haunted by the fact that I witnessed my son hanging and all that I had to go through to get him to the hospital. I will be forever traumatized and have no will, nor desire to live without my angel. HE WAS MY ENTIRE WORLD! He was NEVER placed on the back burner by me. I don't know how to face the world anymore. I don't want to be here without him. No amount of prayer, antidepressant medication, ect. can take this horrific pain away from myself and Jack's family. Jack lived a good life. He had the best of both world's. He was here with me in Honolulu, Hawaii strolling arond the Kahala Hotel and resort with room service at his beck and call. In the summer's and at Christmas, he had visitation with his beloved father, Scott Andrew Hueschen, his step mother, Mary Ann Hueschen and his step siblings, Carlos Olivias, Emilio Olivias, and Alyssa Olivias. He spent many spoiled hours with his grandmother's Helen Jody Hueschen, and Nancy Roney. Also, his Uncle Kurt and his Auntie Heidi. Not to mention the slew of siblings and cousins listed on my side of the family. I still question God, as to how he could have taken my only son from me at such an early age. I have some comfort knowing that he has passed and does not have to lay in a hospital brain dead, hooked up to machines. I am confident that he is in Heaven with his granddaddy's and lots of others who have passed on. To witness my son die in my arms is something that only those who have experienced this hell can truly understand. I feel as thought I have been raped and violated in the worst way by the devil himself. He wants so much to break me, BUT MY FAITH IN GOD IS STRONGER THAN THE PURE EVIL OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF. I feel that there needs to be laws/penal codes changed that will allow children who participate in this 'CRIME" to understand that there are consequences to their actions. There are no consequences for these children who partake in this together. Perhaps, if they knew that they might go to jail, they would think twice about it. I will not stop until there are laws on the books that hold these kids accountable for this "CRIME!"  I was speechless when I called the 911 operator the next day and inquired as to why this person didn't talk me through, and he response to me is that :she has a 9 year old child with whom she prays for every night, so that could never, ever happen to her. Well, my friends, I am a Christian with great faith in the Lord, and I too pray for my son every night and will continue to do so until I meet him again in Heaven. FOR THOSE IGNORANT PARENT'S OUT THERE WHO THINK IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO THEM, IT CAN AS IT HAPPENED TO ME. HAD YOU EVER WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS WAS GOING TO BE A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE, I TOO WOULD HAVE NEVER, EVER BELIEVED YOU! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth M. Roney, beloved mother of Jack Noah Roney                     

Monday, December 14, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Celebrating Holidays when you've lost a child.



My deepest condolences go out to each of the newcomer of 2009. I am so sorry that you have reason to be here. My heart is especially heavy this time of year with the thought of what it takes to get through the first Holiday Season after the loss of a child. The following families will be celebrating their 1st Holiday season in the midst of losing their child since last holiday season.

Roney, Jack
Tayloe, Jason
Casey, Jack E.
Bowman, Maiya
Matherly, William "Tyler"
Smith, Jay
The Family of Christine
Bedolla-West, Marika
The Family of Jack Henry
Jensen, Macklin "Mack"
Nalley, Micheal
Stamper, Randall
Rogers-Nichols, Cheyenne
Conant, Blake Edward
Prough, Donavin
Humphries, Zachary
Tork, Kevin
Anderson, Breanna
Thompson, Zach
Jackson, Charles
Amos, De'ja
Griffin, Tyler Maurice
Loven, John David
Dzbanski, Zachary
Wroe, Brandon
Morgan, Jenny


There are also families who know in Wisconsin, California and Pennsylvania, who bear this pain silently. And sadly there are potentially hundreds more families who are bereaved by the Choking Game.  Please keep them all in your thoughts as they feel the heartache and hopefully the warmth of memories and family around them. And if you feel compelled, leave a comment below.

As you gather your own family together, please take time to remember how precious the moment is.   And please take the opportunity to speak with your family, extended relatives, and particularly the tweens and teens you know about the dangers of the Choking Game.  Many of the parents,  whose children's names are above, wish they had that chance.

Quick Links:  ChokingGame.netVictim's National Database  |  Support & Networking (section on this topic)  | Donation


.